Arkham City interview tapes: Joker
by madisonhagan1
Summary: All Arkham City interview tapes of Joker. Excluding the calls to Batman. I'll put those up separately. I do not own DC Comics, Batman and or anything Batman related. Nor did I make the game Batman Arkham City or write the dialogue of the Joker interview tapes. I also do not own Rocksteady Studios, Warner Bros, or anything related to it. No Copyright intended!


**Author's Note: IMPORTANT! I do not own Arkham Asylum or Arkham City, the video games, meaning I did not make them. I also do not own DC Comics, Batman, or anything Batman related, nor do I own Rocksteady Studios or anything related to it. **

**The director of the Batman: Arkham City game is Sefton Hill. **

**And the writing credits of the game go to Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Paul Crocker, Sefton Hill, Jerry Robinson, Marv Worlfman, Gardner Fox, Carmine Infantino, Paul Dini, Bruce W. Timm, Dan Slott, Ryan Sook, Denny O'Neil, Joe Quesada, Chuck Dixon, Doug Moench, Graham Nolan, Sheldon Moldoff, David Wood, Jeph Loeb, Jim Lee, Steve Ditko, Gerry Conway, Gene Colan, Curt Swan, Robert Kanigher, Neal Adams, Bob Brown, Dick, Giordano, Dick Sprang, Alfred Bester, Alan Grant, and Norm Breyfogle. **

**The cast for these specific voices used in this specific interview tape are, Joker: Mark Hamill. Hugo Strange: Corey Burton. TYGER Guards: I believe the voice for them are David Kaye and Michael Gough. **

**The game is also produced by Daniel Bailie, Nathan Burlow, Ames Kirshen, Matthew Mizutani, Ernest Zamora. And the rest of the departments. **

**Also the company credits are DC Entertainment, Rocksteady Studios, Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. (WBIE) and Watertower Music. **

**Anyway. This is for non profit, entertainment purposes only. Thank you for reading. And buy the game if you haven't! But again, you don't have too. But It's an awesome game. I've beat it I don't know how many times and never get tired of it.**

**Anyway, again. I do not own this. I did not write this. This is not my original piece. It is from the Batman: Arkham City game.**

Patient interview #1.

Joker: "Hello! Anyone in there?! No sense of humor. Oh! The strong and silent type, eh? Think you're safe behind that mask? Give me 20 minutes and a can opener and I'll have you whimpering like a schoolgirl..._You might like it."_

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "That's enough, Patient! Guard, leave us."

TYGER Guard: "Yes, sir."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Good afternoon. My name is Professor Hugo Strange. And you _are?"_

Joker: "Two-Face. Catwoman. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Batman!"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "We can play these games as long as you like."

Joker: "Great! I love _games."_

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Not in my facility you won't. I am offering you this opportunity to make a deal. I am fully aware of your..._condition._ The last thing you have is time. But I can make your final days more comfortable."

Joker: "And in return I'd be giving you...uh?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "I wish to study you. I need to know why you are the way you are."

Joker: "I don't have long, doc. You're going to need more than some psycho mumbo jumbo to get to the bottom of what's wrong with me."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Oh, I have more than that. Much more. So, do we have a deal?"

Patient interview #2.

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "How are you feeling today?"

Joker: "You promised me another doctor, _Strange."_

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Maybe you shouldn't have killed the on I sent last week. What made you do it?"

Joker: "Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly. Besides, it was worth it to see the look on her face. Hey, you know what, I think I've got a piece of it here in my pocket!"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "You are trying my patience. That was the third doctor you've killed."

Joker: "Well keep on sending 'em, doc. I'm trying to break my record."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "I think it is time for you to do something for me."

Joker: Heh-heh-heh-heh! Name it, doc."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Tell me how you came to be. Explain what made you what you are today, how you come to be sitting across the table from me, _dying."_

Joker: "Is that all? Well, I guess you can say I once had a very bad day."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Really? Go on."

Joker: "It was a Thursday night. Things were getting worse. I was 3 days from the bank foreclosing on my home. The chemical plant I worked nights at was about to lay off half the workforce, and I was sitting in the hospital, holding the hand of my pregnant wife, wishing to God that she wasn't dead."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "That must have been upsetting for you."

Joker: "Probably was. Back then, though, all I knew was that if I didn't let old man Falcone;s men into the plant that night, they'd a killed me too. So here's the thing. I had to decide. Could I live without her? Was there any point going on? I've got to admit it. I was scared. Not of being dead, you understand."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "No one would blame you if you were, It is perfectly common."

Joker: Do I look common?! No. I was scared of the part just before you die. When you don't know what is about to happen. When you're desperately clutching at life and trying to hold on with slippery, blood-covered hands. So I made a decision right there."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "And what was that?"

Joker: That, well, that, *Cough* Is a story for another day, Strange. I think I may need to see a doctor. _Get me one."_

Patient interview #3.

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "You were telling me about the night your wife died."

Joker: No. Hugo. As I recall, I was waiting for you to send me another doctor."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "We both know I have sent you three more doctors."

Joker: "Did you?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Yes. One was left dismembered outside the elevator to my office. The other two have not been seen since they were sent to you."

Joker: "How careless. Listen, doc-"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: _"Professor."_

Joker: "OK. Pro-fess-or. I'll give you a little more. I hope you're taking notes...It's the day after and I'm standing in the freezing rain, just staring at the chemical plant, feeling numb. Jeannie was dead. It didn't seem real. I could remember the day I first met her. Her infectious smile as I told her bad joke after bad joke. How even after living with the pathetic wretch I was, she still wanted my child. And then they arrived. Heh! Reality's way of yanking me another wedgie. Falcone's men told me to cheer up. He said, 'Thing's could be worse.' I asked him how? He grabbed me by the collar, pulled me close - he'd been eating garlic and each word _stank_ as he threatened to preform oral surgery on me with a nail and a brick. Creative guy. They hand me a box. I remember thinking it was heavy. Was it a bomb? A gun? I'd never used a gun before, were they really that heavy?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "And what was in the box?"

Joker: "How's that doctor coming along?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "I'll get you one."

Joker: "And when you do, I'll tell you the rest."

Patient interview #4.

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "You are looking a little better, yes?"

Joker: "I have good and bad days, but I do try to start each one with a smile. *Cough*"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Are you ready to continue your story?"

Joker: "Eh, why not. So where was I?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "The box."

Joker: "Ah, yes. The box. So there I was, tearing open this box, expecting the worst, and all it had in it was a crazy red dome and a cloak. I thought they were having a joke with me, but oh, no. They made me put it on. They said it was a disguise, it would keep me safe. It smelt like garlic. And that was it really. I was dressed up like a spaceman, barely able to see, trying to break into the one place in this town that had given me a job. Have you ever tried to walk around with an enormous fish bowl on your head? Don't answer that. It's hard. I couldn't see where I was going. I must have tripped one of the alarms. I heard muffled gunfire. I panicked and tried to run. And then I saw _him._"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Who?"

Joker: _"Batman."_

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Really?"

Joker: "Yes, really. Batman tried to hit me. I moved out of the way but, well, what you need to understand is, I had this giant bowl on my head, and I lost my balance. It's like life really. One minute everything's bad, the next, your wife's dead and your hanging on for dear life, suspended over a tank of experimental chemicals. I'm sure he'd say he tried to save me, but we all know he didn't. I fell. For a second, just as I hit the surface, I thought I may just get away with this!

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "I assume that wasn't the case."

Joker: "Do I look like I got away with it?!"

Patient interview #5.

Joker: "I was drowning! The chemicals were burning my skin. My entire body felt like it was on fire and it was all _his_ fault."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Who's fault? Batman's?"

Joker: "Who else?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Yours."

Joker: "Come again?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Let me tell you what I believe. I believe that you have fabricated a series of events that you use to conceal the truth about your condition. I've read 12 different accounts of your past. All different, except for one detail. Batman."

Joker: "Well, what can I say? I like to keep things interesting. A wise man once told me that if you have to have an origin story, you're better off making it multiple choice."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "And never facing up to the truth of what happened. What you did. How you got here."

Joker: "Oh, I know exactly how I got here. A big truck brought me here from Arkham. You remember the asylum, don't you?"

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Of course."

Joker: "Well, good, because I'd hate to have to think that I'd fabricated seeing you watching me in my cell all those times."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Excuse me?"

Joker: "Hugo, you merry maniac. You were obsessed with me. *Cough* You all to get in here. Next thing you'll tell me it wasn't you who sent old Sharpie over the edge. Nice work by the way."

Psychiatrist, Professor Hugo Strange: "Thank you."

Joker: "So here's the thing. If you want to make sure that no one else finds about about your past, you should stop poking your nose into mine. Oh! And send me another, Doc, doc. I think I need a second opinion."


End file.
